Four Weeks Later And A Dozen Pounds Less

WWDay: 30 (02.20.2012)
Pounds: 194.4 (Weigh in 02.20.2012)
Loss: 12.2

Thoughts: I lost two pounds this week! In total, a dozen pounds lost.

On average, I’m losing three pounds a week. And I’m happy. Mostly. In all honesty, I can’t help but feel a slight (unrealistic) disappointment that results aren’t instantaneous. I want to reach my goal simply because I set one four weeks ago.

Like I said: Mostly (nearly completely) happy!

Don’t Forget To Chew: Confessions and accidental lessons from my adventure.
Wish you were here.

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Tomorrow I Will Eat While I’m Emotional, Not Emotionally Eat

WWDay: 27 (02.17.2012)
Pounds: 196.4 (Weigh in 02.13.2012)
Loss: 10.2

Thoughts: A month ago our friend chose to end his life; tomorrow we celebrate that life, cry over his choice, toast to him, and eat delicious fried bar food for extra comfort. I’ve been saving my weekly points for tomorrow, and I’m going to have a dance party in the morning. But right now, I’m looking at the bar’s online menu and planning tomorrow’s points.

After a good oatmeal breakfast and fruit (and dance) I’m prepared for drink and bar food without going over in the week. I’m ready for:

four ounces of whiskey (10 points)
tater tots (6 points)
garden burger (10 points)
mac and cheese (9 points)
pizza (9 points)
and a thirty minute dance party (-7points)

Tomorrow is all logged in, so I can concentrate on emotional things. With five points left of wiggle room, and the power to modify my tracking accordingly, I’m ready to eat while emotional. Not emotionally eat.

Don’t Forget To Chew: Confessions and accidental lessons from my adventure.
Wish you were here.

I Ate Some Fruit So I Could Drink Some Wine

WWDay: 26 (02.16.2012)
Pounds: 196.4 (Weigh in 02.13.2012)
Loss: 10.2

Thoughts:  I spent about an hour an a half of my day mediating a conversation between frienemies. You know, female high school friends who are also each others’ enemies? Yeah, I didn’t really know what a frienemy was either; I’m 33 now and comfortably out of touch from my 15 year-old self.

Five teenage girls and I spent about 120 minutes that started with “why don’t you like me” and “I do like you, why don’t you like me?” and “I only called you a bitch because you lied to me about that boy” and other such things. They learned how talking to everyone BUT the person they thought hated them only amounts to a real-life game of “Telephone.” And after we realized that no one actually hated anyone, the huge misunderstanding evolved into crying and hugging. While I’m proud of those young women for choosing maturity over girl-hate, I sure felt my age today.

And the reward was a glass(es) of wine. All I had to do was make dinner into a zero-point fruit salad.

Don’t Forget To Chew: Confessions and accidental lessons from my adventure.
Wish you were here.

My Favorite Physical Changes So Far Are My Belly’s Unpredictable Lumps!

WWDay: 25 (02.15.2012)
Pounds: 196.4 (Weigh in 02.13.2012)
Loss: 10.2

Thoughts: I am starting to notice physical changes in my body. Predictably, I see my face thinning; I’ve lost weight before and my face always shows this first.

I suppose I should have started by saying: I am starting to notice a surprising physical change in my belly. I’ve always assumed, as my body stored fat for some unforeseen food shortage, that fat layers were added in an orderly and uniform fashion. And maybe I’m right. Regardless, I don’t seem to be burning off this fat layer by layer. While I’m concerning myself with finding my health, parts of my belly are taking turns being my necessary energy sources.

When I look at my body, I notice physical changes; some predictable and some surprising. My favorite changes so far, is my belly’s unpredictable lumps as I convert some potential energy into kinetic dance moves.

Don’t Forget To Chew: Confessions and accidental lessons from my adventure.
Wish you were here.

Happy Zucchini-Stick-Tomato-Tart-Baked-Apple Day!

WWDay: 24 (02.14.2012)
Pounds: 196.4 (Weigh in 02.13.2012)
Loss: 10.2

Thoughts: I’m hugely grateful to C for grocery shopping, point-minded meal planning, and cooking many of my meals. I don’t know how I could make these positive changes in my life so quickly and effectively if he wasn’t so supportive.

After a day of point-budget minded food choices, Valentine’s Day dinner was no exception!

Hors d’oeuvres: Skinnytaste Baked Zucchini Sticks w/marinara sauce 5 points
Dinner: Tomato Basil Tart 7 points
And dessert: Skinnytaste Baked Apples w/ice cream 7 points

Don’t Forget To Chew: Confessions and accidental lessons from my adventure.
Wish you were here.

Did My Hormones Just Eat 15 Points Of Chocolate Today? Yup.

WWDay: 22 (02.12.2012)
Pounds: 198.2 (Weigh in 02.06.2012)
Loss: 8.4

Thoughts: Today was my 28th day of my month. If you have your own day of your own month, then you too might make different choices than you would on any other day.

Every 28 days I feel like an odd version of myself; this used to surprise me. So on top of feeling unpredictable emotions and painful cramps, I’d beat myself up for failing to outsmart my body’s cyclic chemical fluctuations. In the last few months (yes, it took me until the age of 33) I’ve been practicing to accept predictable changes in hormone (mood swings) and prostaglandin (hold on to your heating pad cramps) levels.

In the last three weeks, I’ve been practicing better food choices. I’ve begun to accept my personal connection between eating and emotions while unraveling guilt from food. In the last few months, even in a most unhealthy chapter, I was practicing to go easy on myself about feeling unpredictable emotions, painful cramps, and the food choices I wouldn’t make on just any other day.

This is my first 28th day honestly tracking my food choices while going easy on myself for feeling like shit and eating chocolate. And a slice of pizza. I used 42 points today, 13 of those are from my new week’s allowance.

Tracking 15 points of chocolate removes the guilt, puts into light what food and exercise choices I get to make for the rest of the week.

Don’t Forget To Chew: Confessions and accidental lessons from my adventure.
Wish you were here.

Three Weeks!

WWDay: 21 (02.11.2012)
Pounds: 198.2 (Weigh in 02.06.2012)
Loss: 8.4

Thoughts: Day twenty one!

Heading to sleep later than expected (3am-ish oops) grateful, tired, hormonal, but happy. The internet isn’t connecting, and with C already asleep, I’m left to text this entry in from my phone. I just finished three weeks on a point budget never starving or deprived. And I’m very proud of myself.

I’ll have to copy paste this to my DFTC blog in the morning. Goodnight new life, see you on day twenty two!!!

Don’t Forget To Chew: Confessions and accidental lessons from my adventure.
Wish you were here.

I Can Still Stop At Dunkin Donuts Hungry And In A Hurry!

WWDay: 19 (02.09.2012)
Pounds: 198.2 (Weigh in 02.06.2012)
Loss: 8.4

Thoughts: On a day like today, in my past, I would have stopped at Dunkin Donuts hungry and in a hurry for a large coffee with cream and sugar (I don’t normally even put sugar in my coffee) and a couple (few) doughnuts at 8 points each. But on day 19, I checked my Weight Watchers phone app thing and looked up the cream, doughnuts, and bagels….then went for a black coffee and a multigrain bagel with a kiss of cream cheese. And I picked up a doughnut for a breakfast treat that I’ll track and budget around tomorrow.

Don’t Forget To Chew: Confessions and accidental lessons from my adventure.
Wish you were here.