I was thrown for a loop this afternoon and consequently, wanted to hide under the covers until tomorrow. Then C reminded me that the woman who wants to go get em is still in there, and I took her to Starbucks to awkwardly work on my thesis. Progress was made without an ounce of grace.
C also reminded me that I feel powerful after a swim, so I’m here now at the pool. Reluctantly.
I discovered that a slow, enjoyable, end of the day ten minute walk takes me around two whole blocks.
noun (dated): a walk, typically one taken regularly to maintain or restore good health.
New Oxford American Dictionary
I won’t confirm nor deny that any alcohol was consumed on today’s walks. BUT if it HAD been, it was awesome.
When I make a change in my life, I MAKE A CHANGE LIKE YOU’VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE! Until the pendulum swings back and knocks me into the behavior I had changed. Or worse.
When I made the change to count Weight Watchers’ points I counted points LIKE YOU’VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE! And then the pendulum swung back and knocked me into emotionally eating more than before. I weighed more than when I’d started the program. I slowly learned to push the pendulum back; slowly, realistically lost weight again. After my WW meeting space changed and my favorite leader quit, I lost my personal connection to the program and left. While still overweight and under healthed, I am better at keeping the pendulum away from extremes.
Five days ago I decided to exercise like my quality of life depended on it and I excersized LIKE YOU’VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE! For an overweight and out of shape body.
It’s day six and I’m tired. I babysat this morning. Tired. I had an anxiety attack. Tired. I did some intellectually challenging writing. Tired. Look at that face. Tired.
I don’t want the pendulum to hit me in the ass on my way out the door. So I took a slow, relaxing, and reflective 30 minute evening walk.
Honor the tired.
I had BIG plans for an evening swim tonight (you know…yes-ter-day?) but I started to feel tired. Really tired. And sore (you know…yo-ga?). I went on a great walk at the zoo with a great friend this afternoon; I recorded approximately 5,000 steps! Then this evening, as swim time approached, my body said: no.
Momentarily I assumed I was being lied too, that this was just my anxiety pushing its agenda. My anxiety is skilled at convincing me to work harder, not better; that working right means monotony-until-burn-out; and pulling away from and avoiding work is an optimal strategy to recover from exhaustion.
I listened to my body. It said it needed rest, and I slowly began to trust its motives. I compromised: I worked an extra hour on a small thesis goal BUT with an expiration time regardless of goal-completion (burn out protection).
This is a new balancing technique for me: I rearranged plans guilt free and added protective parameters.
My body says it’s bedtime.
Apparently, when you decide to take a walk, you can make up your own rules! I woke up with a plan to walk, but was hesitating because I wanted to have some coffee first…and then C simply said:
At that rate you won’t be out of here for another hour, why don’t you take your coffee and enjoy it on your walk?
But I walk too fast to drink coffee!
You just woke up, why can’t you slow down your walk and enjoy being outside.
I…could. I just never thought of that.
Walking like your quality of life depends on it is fun when a friend joins you!
“Just walk for ten minutes; Just get out of the house.” I’m using exercise to mitigate anxiety and depression; I’m pushing myself to do a MINIMUM of ten minutes of exercise everyday. Like my heath and happiness depended on it. I just needed to walk away from the house for five minutes and turn around. When I checked my watch and realized I was nearly ten minutes out, I turned around ecstatic, because I was on twenty minute walk!