36 Things I’ve learned Over 36 Years

When I wake up tomorrow, I’ll be a different age than I am now. I’m already qualified, by time, to drive; vote; drink; rent a car; and run for president. In the spirit of learning how to find calm, gain health, and lose insomnia…I’m going to list 36 things that I’ve learned over 36 years.

1. You didn’t ask to be born, but go with it.

2. Ride the dog like a horse while you still can.

3. Hallways can look and feel longer than they really are.

4. Death happens but you can’t actually study for it.

5. Don’t ever forget the first day of Kindergarten.

6. Bring your Grandma to Show and Tell.

7. Climb to the top the jungle-gym and run like hell.

8. Make the biggest solar system model you can; never throw it out.

9. Forgive your parents for lying to you about magic.

10. Self-consciousness will take the place of not knowing how to give a damn.

11. Insecure people will try to make you feel small, so that they can feel bigger.

12. You will swear you heard your heart break.

13. Feel the confidence of being one of the oldest kids in school.

14. Feel the terror of being one of the newest kids in school.

15. Get in trouble for kissing.

16. Drive stick.

17. Your parents won’t always like you, but they always love you.

18. End abusive relationships.

19. Learn to use Excel.

20. Learn how to live with other people.

21. Live alone.

22. Wait tables.

23. Prioritize paying of debt.

24. Prioritize saving money.

25. Prioritize spending that money on an international trip with your best friend.

26. Fall in love like you will never get hurt.

27. Go to graduate school even though you were rejected.

28. Learn how to work professionally and effectively with someone you don’t like.

29. Experience a heart-break that will literally bring you to your knees.

30. Pretend you’ll always be single and live an adventure.

31. Move in with your partner before you’re married; host all your parents for Christmas.

32. Reevaluate your career choices. Even if this makes you cry.

33. Change doesn’t not equal defeat.

34. Go to Switzerland.

35. Learn how to ask for help.

36. There is always time for cake.

I Just Want to Go to Bed! But I’ve Come to Depend on at Least Ten Minutes of Fitness for Sleeping Well


Locked Up the Car and Walked Away for Five Minutes

I got home just before 11pm after a long, productive day and all I wanted to do was to get upstairs and go to bed. Great thesis work in the company of a great friend and colleague kept my focus off fitness, but I’ve come to depend on a feeling of satisfaction from at least ten minutes of fitness a day. This satisfaction has become a noticeable part of finding my calm, finding sleep, and preventing insomnia. It’s not even midnight and I’m pleasantly unwinding, looking forward to sleep.

Before heading up the stairs, I left my things and locked up the car and walked away from the house for five minutes. Don’t worry, I came back.


No One Cares If You Walk In Half of Your PJs


PJ-NonPJ Hybrid

It wasn’t until I was in the midst of getting ready for bed, when I remembed I hadn’t taken any time out today for self care today. So I’m taking my evening constitutional in the middle of putting on my PJs. What of it?

Please Note For the Record That I Do NOT Want to Swim, but I Want to Feel Powerful, So I’m Here


I Will Swim. Reluctantly.

I was thrown for a loop this afternoon and consequently, wanted to hide under the covers until tomorrow. Then C reminded me that the woman who wants to go get em is still in there, and I took her to Starbucks to awkwardly work on my thesis. Progress was made without an ounce of grace.

C also reminded me that I feel powerful after a swim, so I’m here now at the pool. Reluctantly.

Whilst Out on My Evening Constitutional…

I discovered that a slow, enjoyable, end of the day ten minute walk takes me around two whole blocks.

noun (dated): a walk, typically one taken regularly to maintain or restore good health.
New Oxford American Dictionary

My Body Said No


Goose Walk

I had BIG plans for an evening swim tonight (you know…yes-ter-day?) but I started to feel tired. Really tired. And sore (you know…yo-ga?). I went on a great walk at the zoo with a great friend this afternoon; I recorded approximately 5,000 steps! Then this evening, as swim time approached, my body said: no.

Momentarily I assumed I was being lied too, that this was just my anxiety pushing its agenda. My anxiety is skilled at convincing me to work harder, not better; that working right means monotony-until-burn-out; and pulling away from and avoiding work is an optimal strategy to recover from exhaustion.

I listened to my body. It said it needed rest, and I slowly began to trust its motives. I compromised: I worked an extra hour on a small thesis goal BUT with an expiration time regardless of goal-completion (burn out protection).

This is a new balancing technique for me: I rearranged plans guilt free and added protective parameters.

My body says it’s bedtime.