Two Year’s Resolutions

I could tell you how this past year was a huge failure because I didn’t reach the weight loss goal I set a year ago. But then I’d be lying, about the failure part, that bit about not reaching my wight loss goal is true. In fact, I even gained some weight back. A year ago I started Weight Watchers to lose weight, obviously, but more importantly to gain health. I lost nearly 10% of my starting weight (kind of a big deal) but then my commitment became distracted by daily responsibilities, a desire to live with wonton abandon and without consequences, and worst of all, stress eating. And I gained about 75% of that loss back. While I might look like Year One was a failure, in my brain it’s been a huge success!!!

My Two Year’s Resolutions (kind of like New Year’s Resolutions, but better):

1) Continue to check myself when my inner monologue says things like “I’ll be happy once I lose this weight” and replace it with things like “I am currently happy AND especially happy that I’ve decided to take better care of myself which includes losing unhealthy weight.”

2) Continue to pay attention to how I look at food so that I can change poor habits into good choices; honestly recognizing that eating with compulsion due to stress is NOT the same as eating with intention due to hunger and basic nutritional requirements.

DFTC Carrots Two Years Resolutions

I have a habit to compulsively eat at the end of the day; without being hungry and without a specific craving, I really, really, really just want to eat. Since I’m not really eating with intention, I’ve replace my night-time snacks with frozen grapes or fresh carrots (in a dessert bowl, because presentation counts).

3) Continue to respect food as something my body needs to maintain, repair, and think RATHER than a way to pacify emotions or respond to an emergency.

4) Continue to plan ahead because there are versions of myself that CANNOT be trusted, and hungry-me is one of them. When I allow myself to get blood-sugar-droppingly hungry, I tend believe to that the only two options in the world are a) to put all of that bread into my mouth right now, or b) die. No one wants to die hungry-me, so a lack of planning on my part should not constitute an emergency on yours!

5) Continue to balance my relationship between intake and outtake. It took me years to learn fiscal responsibility, and I still learn new things about living within my means, so I’ll keep practicing nutritional responsibility AND fitness.

6) Continue to remember that I deserve good food, good movement, and good rest. If I wouldn’t stand for a life-sentence of proteins replaced with sugars, movements restricted, and sleep interrupted, then I will NOT volunteer to live that way!

Happy Two Years!

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Dear Sugar, I love you…

…but our love cannot be so secretive. I’m not leaving you, I just can’t keep sneaking you into my mouth when no one is looking. Or quickly so our affairs “don’t count.”

12.17.2012

I love you Sugar, but we have to be more careful with our relationship. I can’t ever let Diabetes come between us.

I love you Sugar, but I must love you in the open. In fact, I need to document it. Every candy-cane, ever tablespoon of cookie frosting, every Frango mint, every cup of Christmas eggnog (Fat, this letter is to you, too). I must be sure I’m not favoring you over Protein, Fiber, Vitamins, the others. I’m doing this for us, sugar.

Success Can Look Small

For the last few months, I haven’t been holding myself completely accountable or taken full responsibility for my food choices, and as a result I’ve re-gained 11 of the pounds I’ve lost. While it isn’t the end of the world, it is a reminder that I’ve lost control of my choices. But often, I don’t feel like I have enough time to stay in control.

A 0.2 loss is a small success, but still a success.

This week, I didn’t have enough time to track EVERY food choice or plan out EVERY meal, but I did remember that it’s not “all or nothing.” If I didn’t track this morning’s breakfast, that didn’t mean I shouldn’t track lunch. If I had cookies for lunch, that didn’t mean I should have cake for dinner. I wasn’t perfect this week, but I didn’t use my imperfections as an excuse to give up.

And This Is Why We Have 49 Additional Weekly Points To Use…

WWDay: 10
Pounds: 203.4(Weigh in 01.30.2012)
Loss: 3.4
Thoughts:
Earlier today I had a minor migraine aura. Having a history of migraines that usually leave me incapacitated (and occasionally in the emergency room), I don’t use the word “migraine” lightly to describe an annoying or intense headache. I use this word when my senses are under attack. So, today when I my vision was compromised, I took my medication and drank a coke. I hadn’t budgeted for soda, but a coke delivers the caffeine differently and more efficiently than any other vehicle I’ve tried over the last twenty years.

I drank EIGHT empty points but I don’t regret it. Just glad there’s an allowance of extra points.

After work, C and I met a wonderful friend for dinner, where I was mindful of points but not portions. Hungry, I nearly finished my dinner, but didn’t leave any to take home. And as I type this before bed…I still feel uncomfortably full. The first time I’ve felt uncomfortably full in ten days. This is a feeling I used to “just live with” without recognizing what it truly represented.

Don’t Forget To Chew: Confessions and accidental lessons from my adventure.
Wish you were here.

We Went Out For Brunch!

WWDay: 8
Pounds: 206.6 (Weigh in 01.23.2012)
Thoughts: Well, the first week was hard. Very. Not memorizing equations or writing a thesis hard, but unexpectedly and surprisingly hard. I ended the week yesterday without any emotional valleys and I began this week with just one today. I suspect things will only get easier. Maybe I’ll have a week without any valleys?

Because I point-planned my breakfast, dinner, and snacks, I had enough points budgeted to stay on track, go out for brunch, and enjoy myself! We went to prasino‘s for (half of) a DELICIOUS AND THE BEST southwest black bean burger with mashed avocado, pico de gallo, arugula, monterey jack, and chipotle mayo on a multigrain bun.Then a half side of garlic wedge potatoes, a Bloody Mary, and shared sorbet!!!

Sure 19 points is nearly 2/3 my daily budget BUT amongst a point-planned day by a budget minded girl (and C), I stayed on track. A week ago today, I was positive no one could stay on track, go out to eat, AND enjoy themselves. I’m not above being wrong!

Better Living Through Chemistry? Or Stronger Food Addictions Through Flavor Science?

The most important 14 minutes and 4 seconds of my day. “The flavoring industry is the enabler of the food processing business – which depends on it to create a craving for everything from soda pop to chicken soup. It is Willy Wonka and his chocolate factory as a multibillion dollar industry; an industry cloaked in secrecy. But recently Givaudan, the largest flavoring company in the world, allowed us in to see them work their magic.”

Tweaking Tastes and Creating Cravings – 60 Minutes – CBS News

Safer: You’re tryin’ to create an addictive taste?
Hassel: That’s a good word.
Streich: Or something that they want to go back for again and again.

The entire transcript.

WWDay: 6
Pounds: 206.6 (Weigh in 01.23.2012)
Thoughts: When I feel great, I feel GREAT! Elated about planning out what I’ll eat before I get hungry; about cutting my food into smaller pieces and chewing slowly; about grazing on fruits and vegetables; and about feeling energized. When I don’t feel great, I feel like SHIT! The tears pour out and I’m sure I’ll always be hungry; I’ll never feel full again; I’ll always want to fill my face with something; and I’ll never taste deliciousness again.

I feel like I am on a hormonal, emotional, and chemical roller-coaster. I feel like I’m in withdrawal. Turns out, I might be. Instead of blaming a manipulating food industry and an enabling flavoring industry, I will educate myself on industry motives and what I choose to put into my body. To keep from slipping into a passive frame of mind, I’ll be re-watching (and re-watching) this video as I conquer my addiction to excessively and artificially flavored foods. Time to conquer!