Lost My Way & Gained Some Pounds

Sometimes restarting is just as difficult as starting.

I haven’t been to a WW meeting since…

Anxiously awaiting my first WW meeting in a month.

What I’m saying is I didn’t weigh in OR track my food all through October. A whole month of poorly thought out food-choices, stress, funerals, weddings, traveling, forgetting that every action has a reaction.

A few weeks ago, I turned to C and said “I’ve slipped. And now I’m as big as a car.” “A car?” he said. “Well, half a car.”

I do not weigh as much as half of a car!

I’ve gained 7 pounds in the last month and I’ve lost my way. But, the good news about losing one’s way, is one can always find it again.

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And This Is Why We Have 49 Additional Weekly Points To Use…

WWDay: 10
Pounds: 203.4(Weigh in 01.30.2012)
Loss: 3.4
Thoughts:
Earlier today I had a minor migraine aura. Having a history of migraines that usually leave me incapacitated (and occasionally in the emergency room), I don’t use the word “migraine” lightly to describe an annoying or intense headache. I use this word when my senses are under attack. So, today when I my vision was compromised, I took my medication and drank a coke. I hadn’t budgeted for soda, but a coke delivers the caffeine differently and more efficiently than any other vehicle I’ve tried over the last twenty years.

I drank EIGHT empty points but I don’t regret it. Just glad there’s an allowance of extra points.

After work, C and I met a wonderful friend for dinner, where I was mindful of points but not portions. Hungry, I nearly finished my dinner, but didn’t leave any to take home. And as I type this before bed…I still feel uncomfortably full. The first time I’ve felt uncomfortably full in ten days. This is a feeling I used to “just live with” without recognizing what it truly represented.

Don’t Forget To Chew: Confessions and accidental lessons from my adventure.
Wish you were here.

I’m Eating Carrot Sticks So That I Won’t Stab You

Since Sunday, my brain has been overwhelmed with contradictions. While I’m proud of myself for choosing to find my health again, I resent that I can’t live in a magical world where consequences simply don’t exist.

Let’s catch up:

On WWDay 1: My family and C have been encouraging me to find my health for some time now. I was enthusiastic and reluctant to join. Not enthusiastically reluctant or reluctantly enthusiastic, but both. A part of me knew the time had come; if I was going to count calories and habitually work-out without any help, I would have by now. But that other part of me dug deep into my eight-year old self and was pissed-off. As soon as I finished signing up I wanted to eat my weight in ice cream and passionately resented anyone who reasoned with me. Sure I didn’t actually eat ice cream to feel better, but I did cry.

On WWDay 2:  I was driving from school to work and called C to tell him if we hadn’t started this the day before, I’d be pulling into the McDonalds I was about to pass, and often stopped at on this commute.

I had my first meeting later that night in a pleasant and brightly-lit room. I half expected the WW meeting to take place in a small, cigarette smoke filled room in a church basement just like I imagine AA meetings do. Sitting amongst the 30 people gathered with a common goal, I noted for the first time that I was in a new situation without feeling ashamed of my body.

Don’t Forget To Chew: Confessions and accidental lessons from my adventure.
Wish you were here.

WWDay: 4
Pounds: 206.6 (Weigh in 01.23.2012)
Thoughts: I was betrayed by orange juice this morning. At three points (10% of my budget) it wasn’t THAT good. This is probably why people put vodka in it.